


The Ballad of 'Wait What?'

by DisposablePaperCup



Series: Intergalactic Antidepressants [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo sets things on fire, Bisexual Leia Organa, Crack Treated Seriously, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Crack, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Padmé Amidala, Gen, Good Parent Han Solo, Good Parent Leia Organa, Good Uncle Luke Skywalker, Han Solo Is Bad at Feelings, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Kid Fic, Luke Skywalker doesn't understand children, Luke Skywalker is a Good Brother, Luke and Han have one braincell they fight over, Mild Language, Pregnancy, Sequel Trilogy What Sequel Trilogy, Space Mom Leia Organa, Young Ben Solo, but nothing actually happens because that's not my cup of tea, it got sad then it got better, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisposablePaperCup/pseuds/DisposablePaperCup
Summary: The meeting is running over an hour over, everyone is exhausted, it’s late, and even Leia and Luke look like they’re two seconds from committing mass murder or pitching forward to sleep on their notes, respectively.So, when Han’s trying not to tiredly slip out of his casual lean against the wall and Leia’s smile twitches and the official prattles on and on andon, Luke going absolutely, deathly still does not bode well in the slightest.Then he stands sharply, slams his hands on the table surface with a resoundingbang, and stabs a finger accusingly in Han’s direction.“You got my sister pregnant!”Leia chokes, “Hewhat?!”(Or, Leia, Han, and Luke using their four collective brain cells to try and keep a child alive, among other things.)
Relationships: Leia Organa & Ben Solo & Han Solo, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo
Series: Intergalactic Antidepressants [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179260
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	The Ballad of 'Wait What?'

They’re all in a meeting together, Leia looking regal, respectable, and using Luke’s natural ability to ooze serenity whenever he enters a room to hold herself back from strangling the government official that’s whining about budget cuts or something or other. Luke is basically the pinnacle of tranquility beside her, but his body is angled to catch Leia if she lunges. Han’s getting pretty good at interpreting the twins’ micro-expressions, so he’s at least ninety percent sure Luke is also at risk of doing something stupid, and preps to react accordingly.

The point being, everyone is exhausted, it’s late, and even Leia and Luke look like they’re two seconds from committing mass murder or pitching forward to sleep on their notes, respectively.

So, when Han’s trying not to tiredly slip out of his casual lean against the wall and Leia’s smile twitches and the official prattles on and on and _on_ , Luke going absolutely, deathly still does not bode well in the slightest.

Then he stands sharply, sending his chair screeching back, slams his hands on the table surface with a resounding _bang_ , and stabs a finger accusingly in Han’s direction.

“ _You got my sister pregnant!_ ”

Leia chokes, head snapping to the side, “He _what?!”_

Han goes pale, mouth dropping open, and more than a few people glance pointedly at the ceiling.

There’s at least fifteen minutes of shouting (from Leia), panic (from Han), and irrational indignation (from Luke) before the conference is adjourned by someone not in the middle of it all, and Leia is all but shoved down the hall to the med bay.

Half an hour and one test later, Leia comes out with a sour look on her face and a glare that could melt glass.

“Congratulations!” The Med-droid chimes a cheerful tone that does not match the tension in the air in the slightest.

“I hate you,” Leia seethes. 

Neither Luke or Han are foolish enough to ask her to clarify.

\---

Out of the three of them, Han is probably the one handling it the worst. Which is unfair to at least two parties involved because, A) Leia is the one that’s actually, you know, _pregnant_ , and, B) Luke has that all-the-time inner peace thing going on, which is just cheating.

Han’s doing that thing where, despite acting like he’s not actually worried, keeps jerking in Leia’s direction when she so much as looks like she’s going to trip and hovering protectively if there’s someone in the room that isn’t him or Luke. 

It turns into an argument when C3-PO almost runs into her and Han basically explodes and Leia explodes right back and Luke is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands trying to understand the significance of baby bumps and why there would be bumps on a baby. Then comes the subsequent realization that he doesn’t actually know anything about children.

When the argument peters out and Leia calms down enough to accept doting from Han, subtle and extremely mild as it is, Luke pulls up a holo-pad and starts reading.

Two hours, one and a half pregnancy books, and a whole lot of looking up questions later, Luke is just as freaked out as Han is.

\---

It only takes four months for Luke to calm down enough to actually be peaceful and serene under his overall aura of peace and serenity, by which point Han has become a thousand times worse in terms of overprotectiveness.

Which leads to things like, “I’m _fine_ . I don’t need an escort to the _kitchen_ , Han.”

And, “It’s halfway across the ship, Leia. Just let me-”

And a much quicker dissolution into arguments since Leia’s emotions are fluctuating like a hyperdrive about to blow and Han’s worried that her stomach will pop open like a water balloon if she’s so much as looked at the wrong way, and Luke decides eventually that enough is enough.

So, utilizing a ten-step plan that immediately goes sideways when Han turns left instead of right and almost walks into the _airlock_ , Luke traps Han and Leia into a room with him and locks the door. Eventually. It takes a while to actually get to that part.

Then he drags Han out of the air vent by his ankles with the force and barely stops Leia from busting down the door, goes into a meditative trance and basically blacks out.

When he stops astral projecting himself into either the galaxy, the void, or the Force, (it’s always a toss-up between the three and he has no idea which is which at any given time) Han looks relieved and maybe vaguely embarrassed and Leia is close to tears, which is a goddamn rarity if ever there was one.

“So,” Luke says, “How is Mom?”

Leia makes a gross, wet sniffle, “You’re a jackass, Luke Skywalker.”

“Okay that’s fair, but also why?”

Han chimes in, “You didn’t actually tell her you can talk to you guys’ mom, you know that right?”

Luke blinks, “Oh shit, I thought I did.”

Leia leans over and punches him on the arm, then says, “She said to tell you to visit more and also Han is being a grade-A mother hen.”

Han says, offended, “She did _not_.”

And then they start arguing again.

\---

Leia goes into labor mid-day and then decides not to tell anyone about it. 

Luke and Han got the story from a captain who was getting his broken arm set when it happened. Apparently she walked in, completely deadpan, said ‘I’m going into labor’, and then just. Did.

Luke thinks, for Leia, that’s pretty accurate. Han thinks that he’s going to strangle the captain, the Med-droid, and-or Leia for not telling them (him). His wording, though, makes Anakin’s force-ghost pop out for a second and Luke has to talk him down (read: talk to thin air like a crazy person while Han watches) before his father can tackle Han around the waist and concuss him against the tile.

Four hours later and Leia is holding the newly christened Ben to her chest and scowling.

“If you drop him so help me, God-”

It’s probably only the presence of a tiny, pink, fleshy child in her arms that keeps Han from escalating the situation. They all have knowledge now of the power in Ben’s wail and none of them are eager to get him worked up again. Luke swears his ears are still bleeding.

There’s a brief shuffle akin to a juggling act as the three pass the baby between them until Leia passes out mid-sentence and Han starts to wilt like a dying flower. So, Luke takes Ben while the two nap because Leia’s arms are limp noodles and he personally doesn’t want to wake her up to make her hold something as finicky as a child.

So he’s left sitting in a stiff, uncomfortable med-bay chair while rocking Ben in his arms and squinting at his face.

“You don’t look anything like Han,” He finally says, “More like Leia.”

Then he blinks. He’s narrowing his eyes at Ben's face when his focus blurs and he’s staring at a tiny ball of compressed energy and light. The Force hums with the quick, steady beating of a tiny heart.

Luke nods slowly, unfazed, “Definitely more like Leia.”

\---

Luke’s initial reaction to Ben was that he was a joy of a child. He was quiet, not very fussy, and low-maintenance beyond the obvious. 

Well Luke takes that back. Ben is a _menace_.

“Stop insulting my child,” Leia says, not looking up.

Luke grumbles, “It’s not an insult if it’s true,” and continues trying to detangle Ben’s hand.

There’s green-orange vegetable paste smeared on Ben’s fingers, which he’s combing roughly through Luke’s hair while he valiantly tries to grab and detach Ben’s hand. Luke’s already given up trying not to get messy in the first place and instead is just trying to reduce the cleanup required in the aftermath.

It’s not going well.

“Tell your husband I’m not babysitting anymore.”

“What about me?”

As if Luke’s really so stupid as to deny Leia anything. Her wrath is unrelenting and always, _always_ comes when you least expect it.

“Damn right,” She says, and keeps reading.

Luke moves his attention to Leia and off Ben for _one second_ , and then he’s sputtering as goopy fingers are shoved against his mouth.

When Han arrives Luke all but shoves Ben in his direction. Han gives Luke a once-over and grins smugly.

“Well, well, the mighty Jedi master, covered in baby fo-”

Luke flings goop into his mouth and smiles remorselessly as Han gags.

\---

“Okay, okay, _maybe_ this isn’t the best idea we’ve ever had.”

“Hey, don’t rope _me_ into this-!”

Leia exhales sharply and pinches the bridge of her nose, “You gave my five-year-old child a lightsaber. You gave _Ben_ a _lightsaber._ ”

Ben perks up from the floor where he’s playing at his name, “Mommy up?”

She obliges, reaching down to pick him up without turning her glare away from Luke and Han. The pair would doubtless shrivel into dehydrated grains of nothing if the effect wasn’t diluted by Ben perched at Leia’s hip and reaching up to grab at her braids.

“You do realize I can easily kill either of you in your sleep, right?”

Han says, “You wouldn’t,” Just as Luke says, “I’d know you were there, though.”

Leia’s face goes sharp and stony and the two freeze. She says, “Want to test that?”

There’s a brief second where neither of them aren’t actually sure that Leia wouldn’t go through with it or hold back in the slightest. The temperature actually _drops_ several degrees and Han is suddenly not entirely sure Leia isn’t also Force-sensitive.

Then Ben’s whining, “Mommy, down,” and is sliding onto the carpet to make grabby hands as he waddles towards his toys.

Leia snaps her gaze back to them and hisses, “If you ever, _ever_ try anything like that again I _swear_ I will throw you out of the airlock and-”

And then there’s, “Mommy. Fire,” and Luke’s going pale as his hand flies to his empty belt and Han’s shouting and _someone’s_ screaming and there’s a whole lot of sprinklers going off and running with a lit lightsaber while Leia yells curses at Luke and Han’s retreating backs.

\---

Okay, in hindsight, maybe trying to introduce Ben to the ghost of his grandfather and grandmother at the tender age of eight wasn’t a great idea, because now he’s hiding somewhere and Anakin looks close to tears.

Luke leaves Padmé to console his father while he goes off to find his nephew. He walks through five different hallways and all the rooms they connect to until a lightbulb goes off and he heads to Leia’s office.

There’s a tiny sniffle when Luke steps inside, quietly shutting the door behind him. Luke carefully steps over to the desk and raps twice on the wood.

“Knock, knock, Benny,” He says softly, “Can I come in?”

There’s a brief moment of quiet before there’s a hiccup and a muffled _mm-hm._

Luke squats down and shimmies himself behind the desk chair, finding a little crying ball of snot and black hair. He makes a sympathetic noise and reaches out to brush Ben’s arm. Ben lets out a quiet sob and leans into it.

“Oh, Ben,” Luke’s saying, then there’s a flurry of rustling as Ben all but launches himself into Luke’s arms.

“He-he w-was so _a-a-angry,_ ” he’s sobbing, and Luke shushes him while he runs a hand through Ben’s hair.

Then Luke’s murmuring, “It’s okay, sweetheart, I know, I know.”

It takes a few minutes for Ben to calm down enough to be comprehensible enough for Luke to ask, “Is that why you got upset? Because grandfather was angry?”

Ben hiccups through an, “ _Mm-hmm._ ”

Luke squeezes him and says, “He wasn’t upset at you, baby. Sometimes people are angry for sad reasons,” He presses a kiss to Ben’s downy soft head, “Grandfather was hurting for a long, long time, and he was hurting so he hurt others. He’s mad because he was hurt and because he hurt them. Do you understand?”

There’s a slow nod and Ben’s body convulses with sobs a few more times before settling.

“Do you want to go try and see him again?” A shake of the head, “Okay. We can do it whenever you want, buddy.”

\---

Three days later, Ben’s chattering happily about nothing in particular, with Anakin balancing him on a slightly fuzzy mostly-corporeal lap, with Padmé braiding Leia’s hair by the couch, and Han and Luke standing off to the side spectating.

Han chuckles as Ben almost falls down and Anakin’s arm darts out to steady him, which leads to Ben noticing and squealing about Anakin’s false hand. Leia and Padmé are gossiping, probably, which Luke can only guess about since he’s never actually been partial to any gossip that wasn’t filtered through Beru and Owen or completely unfiltered and exaggerated by Rogue Squadron.

It’s peaceful. In a way that not much has been after, well, everything. Luke smiles softly as he watches.

Then Han says, “Oh, by the way, we’re pregnant again.”

And Luke blinks and says, “Wait, what.”

**Author's Note:**

> Luke: Leia why do you have two Force signatures  
> Leia: what
> 
> I honestly didn't like the sequel trilogy all that much, HOWEVER, Ben would have made an adorable child if he didn't turn Darkside for unspecified reasons that I still don't at all understand because I didn't watch the last two movies.
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed! Feedback encourages me to write more :)


End file.
